I cheated in kindergarten and ended up getting stuck in the eye by the birthday girl’s party hat. And I cheated at the pub night last Friday … and  won a pair of purple pasties!

Yes, I’ve learned my lesson indeed. When it comes to beer and boobies, everyone’s a winner.

Not only did I win these sweet pasties on Friday (by going backwards and bent the wrong way, bum first, under the limbo bar), money was made for some really important organizations.

Girls on Top Risque Cabaret is made up of an amazing bunch of women. The dancers are all volunteers and every penny raised at their shows goes to three women’s organizations in Vancouver – , and . These groups support women in vulnerable positions, including women who are survivors of violence and women in the survival sex trade. The founder of GoT, Madame Mae I, wanted to use the talents of burlesque dancers to raise awareness about issues affecting women’s sexuality and the heinous appropriation of sex in violence.

Girls On Top has become a voice for sexual empowerment, spreading the message that those who have had their power taken away – through assault, abuse, or systematic oppression – deserve support and understanding so that they can take it back with pride.

- From the Girls on Top Mission Statement

Girls on Top, you’ve officially received my feisty feminist seal of approval.

Madame Mae I

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Madame Mae I agreed to take her stockings off for $200.

As a long-time burlesque enthusiast I have to say the pub is my least favourite venue for burly-q. Particularly Darby’s Pub in Kitsilano… I’m sorry to say it but I don’t think the west side gets it

quite like the east side (*cue rotten tomatoes, probably from the bin behind Capers*). But! After the first fabulous performance by, and perhaps a round or two of drinks, the crowd warmed up a little bit and got the hang of the burlesque cabaret. Here’s a tip west-siders: Hooting, hollering and clapping are encouraged, in fact, any kind of reaction is welcome! Just show us you’re feeling it!

Thanks for sticking it out, ladies. Knicker Twister, Pin-the-Pasties (like Pin-the-Tail on the Donkey), sassy go-go and of course limbo made Friday night a good one, in spite of a few dud(e)s in the crowd.

I enrolled in Rock n Roll Burlesque at Harbour Dance Centre. The first class was Wednesday night.

Rock n Roll gals warm up before class.

And now? Consider me a Rock n Roll burlesque superstar.

It’s true that we’re dancing to classic rock (awful) and the main song we’re using is “Walk this Way” by Aerosmith (horrific), but strutting around in spandex and high heels just… makes you feel good. Now I understand Saturday nights on Granville Street.

We started class with a sassy and sexy warm-up and some exercises across the floor to get us in the rock n roll mood. Then it was time for Aerosmith.

Going into this class I thought the music might kill me. But twenty minutes of strutting, hair flipping and hip rolling brought out my inner rock goddess – or maybe just my inner groupie. Either way, it’s good to feel pretty. No matter the size, shape or flexibility of your burlesquing body.

If you’re prepared to dance and stretch in high heels for an hour, shake your rump and shimmy your wobbly bits – take this class.

Do I consider this burlesque? Hmm.. I’m still undecided. Let’s see how the next eight weeks go.

Burlesque Classes in Vancouver

• Rock n Roll and Broadway Burlesque with Leigh Torlage at Harbour Dance Centre
• Burlesque with Melissa Robertson at Drive Dance Centre
• Burgundy Brixx’ School of Tease
• Screaming Chicken Theatrical Society Burlesque and Boylesque Classes
• Burlesque Yoga with Little Woo

Every Sunday night the Biltmore plays hosts to a sexy and glamourous cabaret of burly-q beauties. For $5, audience members watch four different dancers perform two numbers each. I was lucky enough to attend the “Beef and Blow Jobs” celebration on Sunday March 14th where an additional two dancers were performing. That’s six talented burlesque performers (and six sets of boobies) for $5. Clearly, it’s a deal.

Burgundy Brixx

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Founder and co-host of Kitty Nights, Burgundy Brixx, performs a tropical feather dance.

“Beef and Blow Jobs.” Let me explain. As an antidote to Valentine’s Day Kitty Nights co-hosts, Burgundy Brixx and The Purrfessor, decided to celebrate two things that are not … necessarily … a part of the traditional Valentine’s celebration – steak and oral sex. This sweet and special holiday takes place exactly one month after V-Day, so mark your calendars for next year. I think they might make try to make this one a national holiday.

Kitty Nights is a New York-style burlesque cabaret. “New York style” means the show includes a go-go dance performance at half time. During the go-go dance audience members can approach the performer and slip cash into various parts of her costume (see photo gallery for images).

There is always a “bag of sex” raffle on Sunday nights at the Biltmore. In the past it has included a pin-up photo shoot, a hair styling appointment, movie vouchers, items of clothing, undergarments, sex toys and bits of burlesque costumery (read: pasties).

I walked away from this performance in happy awe. The routines were funny, expertly choreographed and beautifully costumed. I felt great; happy, sexy and inspired to continue my quest for burlesque stardom.

Upcoming Burlesque Shows in Vancouver

• Friday March 19th, 8pm at Darby’s Pub in Kits: GOT Curves, Will Travel – A Girls on Top pub night
• Sunday March 21st, 9pm at the Biltmore on Kingsway: Kitty Nights Pounces into Spring
• Saturday March 27th, 7:30pm at The Chicken Coop: An Intimate Evening with Screaming Chicken Burlesque
• May 6-9 at The Rickshaw, Main and Hastings: Vancouver International Burlesque Festival

Photo courtesy Flickr user eschipul

But on Saturday night at the Vancouver International Salsa Festival, a burlesque performance ended like this.

What’s the idea here? Don’t burlesque dancers perform alone and get (almost) naked?

In Vancouver – and in New York, Las Vegas, Toronto and LA too – there’s a new flavour in the simmering pot of burlesque. It seems professional dancers are taking up the burlesque style and redesigning it for a PG-13 audience. Traditional American burlesque involves super sexy, character-driven performance with a comedic twist. And it always ends with the fabulous strip-tease, emphasis on the tease. The new burlesque is influenced by groups like the Pussycat Dolls (who really were a burlesque group at one time), who sing and dance in lingerie – but never take it off.

So, is this really burlesque?

Before I consider that question, I have a confession to make. See that redhead on the right in the second photo? That’s me. Yep, I’m a willing participant in the downfall of traditional burlesque.

But back to the question: is nouveau-dance-lesque really burlesque at all?

I asked the choreographer of Saturday night’s performance, Angela Amici, what she thought.

“Oh, Steph, no,” she said. “I’d probably cry if I had to take my clothes off onstage.”

Keep in mind that Angela Amici is, without question, the reigning queen of sexy dance stylings in Vancouver. And that

was her reaction to the question of whether or not “it’s really burlesque without the strip tease.”

So who exactly do we think we are? And what do we think we’re doing? Can professional dancers take burlesque to a place its never been before, with studio training and big-time performances? Or are we just scaredy cats who don’t want to take our clothes off? I’ll have a look around the Vancouver burlesque scene in the next few weeks and get back to you…