As my parents approach the end of their careers, they’ve sold the house, torn down the cottage, and are building their dream retirement home on the lake. Throughout the building process, my parents have been very thoughtful about outfitting the new house for their senior years. All of the necessities will be located on the ground floor including the laundry, master bedroom, and office. As my parents age, the upstairs will be solely reserved for visiting grandkids, with agile joints, healthy hips and knobby knees.

As it turns out, my parents are part of a growing trend called ‘aging in place.’ According to a recent article in the Washington Times 89 per cent of boomer-homeowners want to stay in the comfort and familiarity of their own homes and communities as they grow old.Dreading the sterile environment of an ‘assisted living’ residence, my parents joke about the inevitable remodels the house will undergo as they enter new decades.

In their 60s, they’ll swap the master-bathroom corner-tub for a senior citizen’s bathtub of the walk-in variety. In their 70s they’ll install stability bars and high-seated, cushioned toilet seats. In their 80s, they’ll replace door knobs with lever-handles, and in their 90s, (God-willing), they’ll adjust the height of the kitchen appliances, to save their slouching and grouching backs.

‘Aging in place’ is a phenomenon sweeping the boomer generation. With 4000 boomers retiring in the US everyday, home remodels for an aging population has become a huge market. The US even has an organization called the National Aging In Place Council. The Council’s mission is to “encourage senior citizens, recent retirees, and baby boomers to be proactive in planning for their future housing and care needs.”

The National Aging Council promotes a wide array of elderly-friendly household products on their website, including an “amplified phone with caller ID”, the “Beam ‘N Read Hands-Free Magnifying Light” and even the often sought-after “Sterling 303 Bathtub Lift”.

With all of the gadgets, and re-model ideas available to today’s aging boomers, it’s no wonder ‘aging in place’ is becoming so widespread. Unless independent living becomes in no way possible, why would anyone want to trade their own bed, couch and private bathroom for the crowded, diaper-scented communal living environment of a nursing home?

My parent’s new retirement home is slatted for completion in the Spring. I’m thinking of getting them a housewarming gift. After much thought and intensive deliberation, I’ve decided that nothing says “welcome home” like a brand new “High-Reach Easy-Change Light Bulb Kit”. I know they’ll just love it!

My grandpa used to adore pecan pie, served with an extra large helping of vanilla ice cream. But now, at 86-years-old, with a loose-fitting set of dentures and diabetes, my grandpa’s most exciting desserts consist of pureed mandarin oranges served with a sweaty dollop of whipped edible oil product at the Veteran’s Hospital where he lives.

Every time my dad and I go to visit my grandpa, I get really sad. I am at once filled with an intense love and sympathy for my poor old grandpa, but I am also overcome with a great fear of growing old.

Researchers at UBC have discovered that “anxiety about aging is linked to prejudice.” The prejudice they are referring to is ageism.

Allow me to simplify the findings of this study; young people are scared of old people…or rather, young people are afraid of turning into old people.

US gerontologist Robert N. Butler originally coined the term ‘ageism’ in 1969. Butler’s concept of ageism was broadly defined as “prejudicial attitudes towards old people, old age and the aging process.”

The UBC study, as published in the Calgary Herald, found that young people who live with the elderly are more likely to have ageist attitudes, and to have anxieties about aging themselves. Conversely, young people who work with, or have other regular interactions with able-minded and able-bodied seniors do not display ageist attitudes, and exhibit fewer fears of growing old.

I don’t live with my grandpa, but when I visit him I find myself contemplating my eventual old age, and praying I won’t be confined to a hospital in my final years. Am I an ageist?

It is hard to see the strong-minded, intelligent and opinionated grandpa I once knew reduced to a frail frame of grey skin and grey hair, complacently lulled into obedience by an onslaught of nursing home drugs. In seeing my grandpa, I fear the day when my own parents will enter old age, and further down the road, my own elderly fate.

Is there a cure for ageism against the elderly?

I think it is very important for young people to have positive and meaningful interactions with seniors. It is too bad that as a society we tend not to pay much attention to the elderly until they’re sick, or no longer independent. When this becomes our perceptions of the old-age norm, (the sick and the dependent), of course we get anxious about growing old. Seeing our aging and sick loved-ones becomes a terrifying glimpse into what could become our own futures.

But not all senior citizens are hunched over walkers and dependent on diapers. We should be inspired by seniors—the healthy and spry ones—and should take steps to ensure our bodies and minds will mimic these healthy elderly in the years ahead. And let’s not forget that even unhealthy, grey-skinned and grey-haired old people like my grandpa still have much to offer a younger generation. I can’t share a slice of pecan pie with my grandpa any more, but I love to share a story, and hear one of his in return. 

I  would have guessed women would feel most beautiful in their 20-somethings. Like 21 for example, before early-onset wrinkles warn of your fleeting youth. Or 25, before crows-feet begin to claw at the corners of your eyes. Or 29, before you need the slimming assistance of ‘spanx’ to suck your cellulite into your favourite pair of jeans.But, if these survey findings are accurate, I am thrilled. If women are indeed feeling most attractive in their 30s, this must indicate that physical appearance is only one factor in solving one’s ‘most desirable age’ equation. Hallelujah.

In search of more insight to help uncover the ultimate age of attractiveness, I sent out a group e-mail to a graduate student mailing list, of which I am a part. I asked the question “what was/will be your sexiest age, and why?”

The reflections on age and beauty came from a group of academic intellectuals–not a crowd typically associated with image-obsession. The responses were wonderful, and I’d like to share some of their thoughts.

One hot mama responded;

“I honestly feel I get sexier every year. The more comfortable and relaxed I am with me, the hotter I feel and the more attractive I am to great people. I make a big distinction between being/feeling sexy and “looking a certain way that gets men to make a trophy of me.” I’m 35. By the time I’m 50 I’ll be so hot I’ll have to keep my windows open just to stand myself.”

A similar response came from a slightly younger, but equally-confident male Master’s student;

“My sexual prowess has yet to climb its largest peaks. There should be no doubts about whether I will climax in my 40s. In fact, I expect equally invigorating and fantastic peaks throughout my 30s and 40s, analogous to a twenty-year expedition through the lofty Himalayas.”

By the sounds of these two exemplary replies, I will venture to say that ‘sexy’ is as much a state of mind as it is a physical quality. Attractiveness is about feeling secure with yourself, confident in your own skin, accepting of your so-called ‘flaws’, and feeling you know enough about the world and about other people to discern between beguiling bods and true beauty.

When will I feel most attractive? I imagine it will be somewhere between the age of cellu-sucking ‘spanks’ and pre-pregnancy granny-panties.

“Hi Mom. I’m your daughter Gloria,” she would say, and the formalities of introductions would continue to my sister and I. We would shake Grandma’s thinning hand, and kiss her cool cheek as she fussed, wide-eyed and surprised over what beautiful little girls we were.  But sadly, no glimpses of recognition ever crossed my Grandmother’s face. 

Nearly half a million Canadians are affected by various forms of dementia and Alzheimer’s in Canada today.

I am always interested in the latest studies and research being done surrounding this degenerative brain disease. I am constantly forwarding my Mom links to articles that boast remedies proven to slow the onset of Alzheimer’s.

While I’m not usually one to endorse anti-aging techniques, when it comes to cognitive health, I am one hundred percent supportive. I would have never imagined suggesting that mom should “drink moderately”, “ingest 150 mgs of caffeine daily”, and even “smoke cannabis”, but studies show these activities may help to delay the onset of Alzheimer’s. Some more  common, and drug-free, anti-Alzheimer options include “drinking apple juice”, “playing chess”, and  “singing often”. 

A recent research article states “Alzheimer’s is not just for the aged.” Research is showing that 71 000 people suffering from early-onset Alzheimer’s in Canada today are under the age of 65. Even more frightening, nearly 50 000 of those are younger than 59.

I don’t think I’ll be forwarding this information to my mom.

My mom is 53-years-old. Suddenly, the research is hitting too close to home. 

Some people will go happily into their eighties and nineties with all their wits about them. But for many, Dementia and Alzheimer’s will rob good people of decades worth of memories. First kisses, first jobs, first loves…all forgotten. 

The Alzheimer’s Society of Canada is predicting that by 2040, between 1 and 1.3 million Canadians will have Alzheimer’s. The disease threatens to swamp our healthcare system in the decades ahead. As the boomers slowly forget to unplug their kettles, water their plants, and walk their dogs, it is estimated that Alzheimer’s will cost the Canadian healthcare system in excess of $5.5 billion a year.

Perhaps if society were as concerned with mental health, and the maintenance of healthy bodies and minds as they are with physical beauty, and the maintenance of wrinkle-free skin, firm butts and perky breasts, this $5.5 billion yearly expense might be significantly reduced. Alzheimer’s is a hereditary disease, but awareness, prevention and research might begin to reverse its far-reaching effects. 

I read a sad, but somehow uplifting story today that tells of an 80-year-old man who lived in a nursing home and was in the late stages of Alzheimer’s. After 40-plus years of marriage, he believed he was still courting his wife.  Everyday he would ask her to marry him, and everyday, she would say ‘yes.’  Alzheimer’s robs its victims of their memories, but does not strip them of the intrinsic human desire to love, and be loved. 

We will all age, and likely grow old and forgetful. But, if some day we are no longer able to be a product of our own memories, we will need our loved ones to remind us of who we are, and the how the memories of our lives have shaped us. 

Most recently, the country has boarded the anti-aging train with a hip new fad-diet that claims to reduce wrinkles! This one’s called the “collagen diet,” and promises to slow the skin’s natural aging through the ingestion of vast quantities of collagen. Collagen is a protein commonly used in cosmetic surgery to restore strength and elasticity to aging skin. It is a protein harvested from bovine (young beef cattle) or porcine tissue (from pigs).

As if the cosmetic procedure of injecting such substances into your wrinkling face isn’t grotesque enough, imagine spearing a cube of the translucent, tasteless gelatin on the end of your fork, and swallowing it down. Or if you prefer, you can melt down the chunks of collagen, and swirl it around with some meat, fish or veggies. The number of disgusted facial expressions induced by even thinking about this scenario will likely wrinkle more faces than this miracle diet will every remedy.

In fact, the collagen diet is quickly joining the ranks of the grapefruit, banana, green tea, and atkins diets. Health professionals are calling the collagen diet bogus.

But still, Japanese “beauty restaurants” are all the rage. Serving up hot-pots with collagen-rich foods (shark fin, chicken skin, pigs feet and noodles), with a side of ‘pure collagen,’ (for dipping perhaps?) is gaining momentum as a ladies-night-out dining specialty. Too bad the spoonfuls of collagen you shovel into your stomach will never make it to your skin. Instead, the collagen will likely be disposed of as excrement, along with the rest of your body’s useless junk. 

So, if eating collagen isn’t the fountain of youth, will any diet keep us young?

Nearly every magazine aimed at middle-aged women seems to publish a bi-monthly update to ‘the ultimate age-defying diet.’ Parent.com’s website lists spinach, curry, tomatoes, almonds and dark chocolate as the top five foods to keep you looking, acting and feeling younger. Spinach might ward off broken and fractured hips in old age thanks to its high dose of bone-densifying vitamin K. Researchers claim curry will keep things spicy in your brain, and tomatoes will supposedly help your skin ward off UV rays. It is believed that the vitamin E found in almonds can keep you agile as you age, and finally, as every choco-holic woman wants to hear, a small daily indulgence in dark-chocolate will decrease your blood pressure. 

Whether or not any of these foods will actually keep you young, I cannot guarantee. But, at least they are real, healthy foods, with colour, texture, and flavour.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for globs of collagen.

We quickly don our shovels and literally plow away the veiny-winged, bulgy-eyed, buggy deceased. I’m always astounded that these 1/2 hour beings (when assembled ‘en masse’) can wreak such havoc. But they certainly do.

The “Pando Tree” in Utah is believed to be the world’s oldest living organism with an estimated age of 80 000 years. It’s massive root system and branches span nearly 76 hectares, and the beastly tree weighs in at over 6000 tons. The Pando tree, a Quaking Aspen by species, appears to have anti-aging down to an art.

While the human lifespan is neither likened to the shadfly, nor the Pando tree, the average Canadian today will live to be 81.16 yeas old.

But what if we could defy the inevitability of aging? One UK scientist believes this might be possible.

Aubrey de Grey is a Cambridge-educated, biomedical gerontologist who provocatively claims that humans alive today could live into their thousands. Yes…children in their early teens could potentially see their 1000th birthday.

De Grey’s book, “Ending Aging,” suggests that emerging regenerative medical science will develop enough tissue-repair strategies within decades to enable human immortality. He’s even got a name for this grand-design: Strategies for Engineered Negligible Senescence.

Maybe this is good news. Perhaps we should cure aging. After all, it is killing thousands of people around the world every day.

But let’s step back for a moment.

Evolutionarily speaking, human beings are already living well beyond reproductive necessity. Unlike the shad-fly, we typically live long enough to reproduce, raise offspring, ensure the reproductive success of our children, and even enjoy the pablum-and-paddy-cake-days of our grandkids.

We live into our 70s, 80s, and 90s, and a rare few even surpass the century mark. But try as I might to envision my 500th birthday (and beyond), I cannot.

How would I look and feel after 500 years of gravity pulling on my skin and compressing my bones? Never mind the profound social transformations a 1000-year life would bear witness to. Part of life is about making a difference, and then making room for the next generation.

And this is to say nothing of the already overpopulated state of our planet. If we could stop the aging process, and thereby save the some 100 000 lives that are lost to aging every day, the Earth’s precious resources, fresh water and food supplies would be swiftly wiped out. Quality of life as we know it would be all but defunct, and we would surely facilitate our own demise.

I believe that somewhere between the 30-minute life of a shadfly and the 80 000-year eternity of the Pondo tree, human beings have been blessed with a comfortable longevity. We live long enough to feel, to live, to love, and to pass on our age-acquired wisdom. So who cares if aging is killing the masses? I think this is exactly what nature intended.

She would comb her hair each night before bed, and fix it into a determined, rapunzel-like braid down her back every morning. She had no interest in celebrities, fashion or television, but could rhyme off shakespeare quotes, island politics and the ‘who’s-who’ of our entire family tree. She was quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, and… 106 years old.

My Great-Grandma Woolner did not believe in ‘cutting carbs’. She did not surrender paycheques to expensive anti-aging, age-defying, crows-feet-eliminating face creams. She did not know what botox was and thought plastic surgery was a devilish display of vanity. Legend has it that she survived on fresh fish with a zest of lemon, and a zest for life alone.

Had it not been for a broken-hip that forced her demoralizing transition into nursing-home life in her 106th year, who knows how long my great grandmother would have kept on. She was remarkable, and beautiful, and the most graceful ager I have ever known.

We have become a society obsessed with aging, or perhaps more accurately, a society obsessed with not aging. We deny our bodies the natural transitions of growing old, and are hugely susceptible to the onslaught of media-promoted alternatives to counter our absurd fears of old age. I too find myself looking a bit too closely in the mirror now and then, only to determine that the rumours are true: youth really is a fickle and fleeting friend. Soft, barely-there lines have just started to etch my 20-something forehead, and crease my cheeks where smile-lines linger. My sister and I joke about buying each other botox treatments for our next birthdays. But laughs and jokes aside, deep down in some twisted pocket of our 21st century egos, we’re actually very serious.

We are living through the heydays of anti-aging.  As baby-boomers commence their slow and dreaded walks toward thinning bones, sagging chins, and the inevitable return to diapers, they have officially started to panic. They are all-too willing to invest in pills and potions that might stall the gloomy doom of that nursing-home check-in.

A recent Globe and Mail article by Carolyn Abraham, “The quest for the test tube of youth” highlights research looking closely at how to extend the lifespan of human cells. The star of this genetics show is the telomere; the tiny cap that adorns the tips of every chromosome contained in our DNA.  Telomeres are the unsung protective heros of our ‘genetic 411′, and get worn down as our cells divide–as we age. Scientists are trying to determine how to eliminate the wearing down of telomeres, in the hopes of extending the life of our cells, and potentially slowing the aging process itself. If it works, could this be the elixir of youth scientists have been searching for?

But why do we want this? Isn’t every stage of life supposed to be about embracing the right frame of mind to endure the natural highlights and burdens of every age? Shouldn’t we be welcoming every natural aging progression as part of life’s journey?

We are terrified of growing old, but are also by and large too lazy to preemptively nurture our bodies and minds to better our chances of a happy and healthy old-age.

Grandma Woolner would be rolling in her grave if she knew what today’s scientists were up to.

The baby boomers will likely go kicking and screaming, pumped full of potions and lotions into their old age.

But personally, I’d rather opt for fresh fish, and long walks on dusty-red island roads.

Way to go Grandma Woolner. Here’s to 106 years!